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Can life be like a chocolate chip cookie recipe in the making?

Baking still life of freshly baked choco
Seeping Pain.jpg

The photo above is something I wrote in my Yahoo notes back in 2013.

This was my heart's condition before the divine recipe below came to pass.

Can life be like a delicious recipe in the making? This thought came up one day as I perceived that each painful experience I had was eventually presented by God in an amazing way. As I went through each of these difficult times in my life, I understood what Genesis 50:20 meant when it says,


"What the enemy meant for evil, God intended for good."


Think about some of the ingredients of a chocolate chip cookie: butter, salt, baking soda, eggs, sugar, and flour. If you had to taste those ingredients individually, they would be awfully gross to eat. Can you imagine eating a raw egg? Or a spoonful of baking soda? Gross, right? But isn't it interesting how when you mix all of the ingredients together and bake them, they produce a delicious chocolate chip cookie?!


I want to share with you how God made a delectable recipe out of all the painful encounters in my life in hopes that you can see how God has been working in the background, cooking up a beautiful recipe out of individual ingredients that taste badly on their own.


The following is the butter, salt, baking soda, eggs, chopped nuts, and flour of my chocolate chip cookie life recipe:


BUTTER: I was sexually abused by a family member. This abuse lasted from when I was three years old until I was five years old. Many people would wonder how I could recall anything at three years old. My mom recounts that I was three when she would take me from doctor to doctor to find out why my underwear always had bloodstains. Though they never gave her a conclusive diagnosis, this always stayed in the back of my parents' minds. It wouldn't be until I was seventeen years old that I would confess this traumatic event after they witnessed my severe depression, suicidal thoughts, and addictions. It was then that many things made sense to them being that they not only witnessed physical symptoms when I was a toddler but also emotional ones. 


SALT: My mom was physically and emotionally abusive since I had recollection until the age of 12 which is when she changed her ways due to illness. This violence was only towards me, never towards my other siblings. I felt this could be due to me being the first child, and not only first, but also unplanned. This being the case, I felt I was the reason why she felt obligated to stay in a relationship she wasn't happy in. Though she changed when I was 12 and became the mother I always wished to have, the damage was already done. This caused me to have a lifetime of self-hatred, insecurity, and self-rejection.


BAKING SODA: Due to my difficult past, by the age of 17, I began to seriously contemplate suicide. I also had severe addictions that have been medically known to take lives. One of those addictions was bulimia which is medically known to take lives after just a year of falling into it. How I was able to stay alive for 18 years can only be summed up in one word. God. I also suffered from PTSD, suicide thoughts, anxiety, chronic insomnia, and severe depression for over 18 years.


EGGS: When I was 17, in an effort to help me appreciate my life, my mom decided to tell me a secret she had held onto. She told me that she was going to abort me when she was pregnant, but when she was waiting for her turn in the clinic, my dad bolted through the door and stopped her only because a friend of hers betrayed her trust. This just confirmed what I had already felt to be true which reinforced my self-hatred, self-rejection, and insecurities.


NUTS: At the age of 20 I was raped.


FLOUR: In November of 2017, after discovering power and purpose in the occult, I suffered a demonic possession that almost ended my life, as I threw myself three stories down, head first, to concrete. I was found with my right leg detached from my body, hips & pelvis shattered, front and back ribs broken, lungs collapsed, one lung punctured by a broken rib, right arm shattered, massive blood loss, and my left wrist bitten by my own mouth. 


All the aforementioned was MY butter, salt, baking soda, eggs, nuts, and flour.


The anguish of those situations was not as painful as having to carry a numbness in life that could only be described as being dead inside, though I was alive. I can't tell you how many times I wanted to end my life. It was a very painful journey, to say the least until God combined all situations that were meant to take me to the grave and used them to create something for His good. Genesis 50:20 says,


"What the enemy meant for evil, God intended for good."


Here is how God added His divine white sugar, divine brown sugar, divine vanilla extract, and divine chocolate morsels to the distasteful parts of my life recipe to turn all those difficult experiences into His divine and delicious chocolate chip cookie recipe.


(A Dose of God's Divine White Sugar)

The sexual abuse I suffered as a child led me to be overly protective of my two baby sisters. Because of this, they knew nobody was to touch them in any way. Teaching them such a lesson prevented a tenant from victimizing both of them sexually when one was three years old, and the other four years old. 


(A Dose of God's Divine Brown Sugar)

I was so broken beyond repair that all my siblings found it very easy to run to me and tell me everything that they couldn't deal with in their lives because though they didn't know all I've been through they sensed my non-judgemental spirit. This trust they had in me allowed me to help save the life of one of my brothers from suicide due to substance abuse. Another sibling fell into heroin substance abuse and because of my open-minded nature, I was the first one he came to confess himself to and receive help to clean up.


(A Dose of God's Divine Vanilla Extract) 

When I was in my mid-20s when I went to a therapist. He told me it might take 20+ years of therapy to see any progress, once I told him my entire life story. I wanted so desperately to feel and have the natural gleam of joy and hope that I would see in people’s eyes that I never had. When I asked him if I would at least be normal someday, he said they couldn't guarantee that, but I may feel somewhat better with therapy and medications…but God had a different plan and outcome for my life.


When I turned 38, not only did God heal me from an 18-year addiction, but He also breathed life into me. I felt alive for the first time in my life! I finally had that gleam in my eyes! He also healed my bulimia, addictions, PTSD, depression, anxiety, and insomnia. Through this experience, I've been able to relate and help those that struggle with what I have struggled with.


(A Dose of God's Chocolate Morsels)

The demonic possession that nearly claimed my life because of a three-story fall onto concrete gave me an experience with Christ and angels, unlike anything I had ever known. Fortunately, my head and spinal cord were miraculously intact, and miraculously there was not one bruise or scratch on my head due to the intervention of angels. However, the doctors told me that as a result of my injuries, I wouldn't be able to walk for about a year, nor be able to run for possibly 2+ years, but God had a different plan for me.


This new thing I was experiencing called "faith in God" made me confess and decree to my parents in that hospital room that I was not only going to walk, but I was also going to be running in three months through the power of God. And on February 10, 2018, just three months to the exact date of my accident (Nov 10, 2017), the truth that Father put in my heart, came to pass. I was not only walking, but I was also running, jumping, and lifting weights! In Luke 18:27 Christ says,


"What is impossible to man, is possible to God!"


Not only was surviving a miracle in itself; but through it all, God taught me how to defeat the demons that tormented me with the spiritual authority of Christ. This was after I had a spiritual encounter with Christ but that is a whole other story. Months after I had given my life to God, the God-given supernatural experiences gave me the ability to assist seven people that were also being demonically harassed. And because of what I learned from my painful experience; all six individuals were victorious in the name of Christ. Five of them gave their lives to Him!


Recently, I realized why I went through so many trials in my life. I mean, I wasn't even born yet and that darn devil was seducing my mom into aborting me. Do you know why? Because he knew how God would use me in the future to redirect the lives of many. If he has stomped on you all your life, let me tell you that you are an important soldier that God has given a divine purpose and the devil knows this.


The Bible has shown that God has always recruited the weak and the broken in order to bring His severely beaten and battered children to Him after He restores us and shows us His great power. 2 Corinthians 4:7 says,


"He sets His treasures in jars of clay."


We are those jars of clay and His treasures are infinite. He gives you these treasures and so much more once you accept His invitation for a personal relationship with Him.


What I shared is my life recipe. Once God mixed the ingredients, distasteful on their own, with His divine ingredients, He made a miraculous tasting chocolate chip cookie, that when told, continues tasting to me like hope, faith, power, purpose, and an endless possibility of miracles.


God just took my chocolate chip cookies out of the oven two years ago. Once they were ready, He had to first serve them to me in order to heal me from my painful past and teach me the meaning of Genesis 50:20 when it says,


"What the enemy meant for evil, God intended for good." 


My God-created recipe will not be your recipe, but God has taught me that He makes out of everyone's experiences their own tailor-made, special, and unique recipe in order to have a great assortment of dishes to offer all His broken children that don't know Him yet. With the recipe God made out of the 40 years of my life, God intended to help people with specific situations that were similar to mine. Yours can also target specific people and situations.


He has created a very unique and special recipe that has your name on it. It may currently be a work in progress, or He may already be serving your recipe for others to benefit from it. If you are currently sampling a distasteful ingredient or ingredients, please remember my story and know that God intends to add his own personal touch to it in His perfect timing, for your healing, the healing of others, and for His glory. You are a very, very important recipe in God's recipe book of higher purpose. We all have unique, life-changing experiences to offer this diverse world, and in effect, help the broken so that God can change the course of many lives.

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